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Overcoming Jealousy and Possessiveness, by Paul A. Hauck
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Psychotherapist Paul Hauck, whose popular books have brought help and advice to countless readers, now shows how jealousy and possessiveness--often the most tragic emotions--can be overcome. Applying the principles of Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), Hauck demonstrates how jealousy is a learned emotion and can be unlearned once you understand why you are jealous and begin to think in new ways about yourself and others.
- Sales Rank: #399398 in Books
- Brand: Hauck, Paul A.
- Published on: 1981-01-01
- Released on: 1981-01-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.99" h x .33" w x 5.00" l, .33 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 142 pages
About the Author
Paul A. Hauck is a retired clinical psychologist. He has written several popular books offering helpful advice and techniques developed through his private practice.
Most helpful customer reviews
61 of 62 people found the following review helpful.
Hey, You, WAKE UP your the problem here!
By Geekdomo
Now I have your attention I cannot tell you the dramatic difference this little book did for me and my marriage. One day my wife comes up to me and says out of the blue "Im not happy I want to seperate, please pack a bag and get out" I was blown away I did not see this coming at all!
This book will NOT underline NOT save your marriage... You will. This is going to take a bit of maturity on your part and also willingness for you to change your behaviors. Let me tell you what I was doing so you dont think I am just some guy who was only slightly jealous.
The more I tried to smother her and deny her basic freedoms the more she pushed away from me. The more she pushed away the harder I tried and the more jealous I became. I did things that were so unbelievable I still cant believe I did them. I used to set up a video camera to watch the house while I was at work so I could see who was coming over to sleep with her. I would find excuses to leave work early so I could suprise her and see who she was sleeping with. Nothing ever proved anything. But in my jealous mind any thing I found like a sock on the floor, proved her infidelity. This meant that I would accuse her of sleeping with people, I was nervous of every man in her life because they obvously wanted to sleep with her and I knew it. I wanted to know where she went and for how long so that I could then question her later and see if her stories were the same if she said one thing wrong I used that to accuse her of visiting other guys. I read her emails to see who she was writing and what they were saying about me. Basically I was a mess. When I began to realize this I slowly started to see what I had done wrong and it all was like a light going off. I had not seen what I was doing. I was like a dog that is chained up and is pulling to get a bone, the more I pulled the tighter the coller was getting and the more it choked me.
I would also suggest a marriage counselor for you and your spouse or partner. Yes this book will help for people that have domestic partners and boyfriend/girlfriends. If you see any hope in the relationship at all dont give up. You can do it! Dont become another statistic.
87 of 91 people found the following review helpful.
Focuses too much on the non-jealous mate.
By A Customer
I feel that this book hasn't given me any solutions to overcome my jealous behavior. There are some solutions but they are not very detailed in how to use them through different stages and situations in a relationship. I think that this book is more helpful for those people who are dating or married to someone who is jealous. Overall I think that if you are a jealous person looking for a book to help you change then I think that you should look for another book.
36 of 39 people found the following review helpful.
Helped to Change My Life!!
By A Customer
I drove away a girl that I loved in just 3 short months! I knew that I was kind of insecure and had poor self-esteem, but I had no idea that I was acting possesively and extremely jealous towards her once I finally fell in love. When we first started dating she fell in love with me quickly. She never saw my bad side untill I fell in love with her, then all hell broke loose. Now I thought that I owned her. It started with false jealous accusations, and the constant need for assurance of her love for me, even after my harsh verbal and mental abuses. As her resentment grew, and as I felt her pulling away, I became desparate and acted possesively towards her. All I knew is that I needed her to love me the way she did when we first met.
She ended the relationship after three months, but wanted to "still be friends". I could not accept her leaving, and became more possesive and jealous whenever I saw her untill she could not deal with me anymore, and I could not deal with being "just a friend" so we decided not to speak to each other again.
I saw myself in this book, and it has confirmed to me that my thoughts and actions were that of a possesive and jealous person. (I blamed my girlfriend or anything else I could think of for causing me to react the way I was.)
Just discovering this about myself alone has opened my eyes and started a change in me, but the book has also taught me how to change the way I think. This book uses many true life examples of the possesively jealous person and how they were able to overcome their harmful thinking patterns.
I am now learning to love myself unconditionaly first, and that I can change or "unlearn" any negative behavior or thinking patterns that I have learned in the past.
I'm sure that I will be ready for the next relationship!
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